AH-HA

One of my biggest ah-ha's in life thus far has been to finally understand all of those "Mom sayings" that we all heard as kids. You know the ones......you heard them so often that they sounded more like "Blah, blah and blah, blah, blah" then actual words in the English language. Many of them were as much a part of our daily interaction with our moms as good morning or what's for dinner. Growing up, I think most of us completely wrote these sayings off as Mom is just having a moment, and we continued on with whatever it was that was causing Mom's moment.

Sometime after Richmond turned one, these sayings began to come out of my mouth uncontrollably and without thought. It's like they had been implanted into my brain and had lay dormant for all of these years just waiting for the perfect opportunity to make their debut. (This phenomenon only happens in females). Once they surface, it's as if they stay on guard at the edge of our tongues looking for any chance to attack!

A few of my favs:*

*"Just wait until your Dad comes home."
Why is this so scary to a child? Sometimes when I find myself trying to reason with a 4 year old (which is too often, and stupid I might add), I'll throw this one out as a last resort. It works! But take caution, overuse could cause it to lose it's effectiveness.

* "Your room looks like a pig-pen"(or a tornado touched down, or any other phrase equaling complete and utter destruction).
It only takes a minute for the Pottery Barn room to look like the.......well - the barn itself.

* "I am going to change my name."
From Mom that is...... If I don't respond immediately for whatever reason when I hear Mommy, I can be assured that it will be repeated without pause until I have responded - and sometimes even afterwards. Now.....for some of you that might not have children or at least children who have learned to ask questions, this may sound somewhat cruel. "Why doesn't she just answer her child immediately", you might ask. If you are one who may be asking this question, I will ask you to store this one in your memory banks to pull out at a later date.
Calgon, take me away........

* "I am not made of money."
There was a time when I could go to the grocery or Wal-Mart with Richmond, and he was virtually unaware of what was happening. The only concern he had was making sure he could partake in any free cookie giveaways. I'm not sure at what point his eyes were opened to the world of retail, but shopping has become painful. In fact, I would rather go shopping in the wee hours of the a.m. than to shop with my little fair-haired child in the sunshine hours. Those of you who know me well know that this is BIG, for I am practically dead between the hours of 10pm and 6am.

* "Please leave your brother (sister) alone."
There are a number of other ways that this is expressed, but in the end, it all boils down to just downright leaving them alone. Sometimes Richmond loves Knox soooo much that it hurts. It hurts Knox that is! He gets squeezed and pinched and patted, all in the name of love. On the flip side, Richmond likes to test Knox's threshold of pain.
A recurring example - I'm in the kitchen making dinner, Knox is playing in the floor, and Richmond is watching a movie. Suddenly, Knox is screaming at the top of his lungs, crawling towards me like he was shot out of a cannon.
"Richmond, what happened to Knox? Why is he crying?"
"I hurt him," Richmond says.
"What did you do?"
"I ran over his fingers with the truck," he says.
"Why??"
"I wanted to see if he would cry."
The reasonable human side of me wants to scream out, "Duh, of course he is going to cry!" Instead, you move into the Golden Rule talk - painstakingly trying to put it into perspective that a 4 year old understands. A few minutes later, something similar occurs.......thus, resorting to "Leave your brother alone!"

* "If little Johnny jumps off a bridge, are you going to follow him?"
This is one that just recently made it's debut. I even consciously held off on this one - trying instead to explain that Mommy and Daddy are only concerned with Richmond's actions, not those of his friends. After several times of hearing that dreaded phrase, "So-and-so did it", I snapped. The previously mentioned classic response came out of my mouth, to which Richmond simply replied, "No."
Well alrighty then..............

* "Don't make me pull this car over!" (Also frequently used by Dads).
You know....with this one, you actually have to pull the car over and close the deal before this statement gains any effectiveness. You also have to be willing to pull the car over, which can be pain in the gluteous maximus for not only the child, but more so for the parent. I have only committed this act twice, but have successfully threatened it on numerous occasions.My favorite story in regards to this statement comes from the Gerald Roberts (Richy's dad) book of parenting. Before leaving the driveway on any trip, Daddy G would go and cut the thickest, most intimidating limb from the bush (known as a switch in the South) in their front yard. I think he even waved it around in the air to show it's power (or his). The 4 offspring would quietly witness this ceremonial switch cutting from the car, imagining the pain that could come from one small quarrel with a sibling. He would get into the car and place the switch in the dashboard, then turn to his sweet, sweet children and say with a smile, "Here we go!"
You go, Daddy G!!

And last but not least, certainly my all-time favorite.........

* "I can't have anything!"
Stains on the carpet; gross, sticky stuff on the couches; destroyed dishes; broken jewelry; lost brushes; trampled perennial gardens; finger-printed walls and windows; trashed vehicles; computer casualties................need I say more?? I think this is the one that sounded most like blah, blah, blah to me; and therefore, is my biggest AH-HA!

In the big picture of my life.............I can't have anything, but I have everything! Perspective is a beautiful thing :)

So all you Moms out there......rejoice at heart! Eventually blah, blah, blah becomes clear as a bell!